1. Never agree with anybody. Insist that you’re right. If you’re wrong, don’t admit it.
  1. Point out the errors in people’s logic. Burst their bubble! Correct their pronunciation.
  1. Never underestimate the power of sarcasm and condescension. If all else fails, be insulting. When people object, insist that your ‘praise’ was misconstrued & they’re being too sensitive.
  1. When dining with others, talk about your exotic ailments or body functions. Exotic ailments involving body functions count as double.
  1. Try to see the negatives in any situation. Point out the foolishness of being optimistic.
  1. Try to avoid social functions & places where you might meet new people. Shun nature, beautiful sunsets, going for walks, etc. Stay home and watch TV instead.
  1. If you’re a minority, weird or otherwise “different”, consider moving to an out of the way place like Montana. They won’t tolerate you as well. Plus, there’s lots more room to be lonely in!
  1. Become an alcoholic or drug addict. It will enhance your sense of loneliness. People will begin to shun you; as you will shun them.
  1. Don’t return phone calls. Forget dates and appointments. Arrive late. Never do what you say you’re going to do.
  1. Neglect personal hygiene. Sing off-key.
  1. Avoid showing your true feelings, especially anger. If people do something to displease you, get back at them in another, more sneaky way. (Be creative.) This especially applies if you live in Seattle.
  1.  Seek poverty & a humble existence. Nobody likes a pauper!

These steps may seem obvious and simplistic, but I guarantee that you will see results if you stick with them! Your life will soon be free from the complications and annoyance of other people. However, you may still be the same miserable person that you were.

 

 

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